Weird Stuff my kids say

Our Mondays consist of barely surviving. I have been spoiled all weekend by Scott’s reassuring presence, and then that is abruptly gone come Monday morning. Hence, there is always a period of adjustment for me as I come to terms with the fact that this is my circus and these are my monkeys. I like to call our Mondays “Hot Mess Mondays.” So in honor of Hot Mess Monday, I think it is fitting for me to be blogging during nap time instead of cleaning the kitchen in the aftermath of breakfast and lunch. Here are some little pearls that have come out of my children’s mouths.

Rose:

We have been potty training Rose for the past few weeks. It has been an arduous process, but thank God she has been keeping us laughing during it.

Me: “Rosie, you pee peed on your superheroes. (Her underwear). Now, they are sad.”

Rose: “Then that chair over there is real sad.”

And so it was.

Whenever I get Rose up in the morning and help her put on her panties, I tell her to remember not to pee pee or poo poo on her underwear. Like Ruth used to, she has started to recite the mantra of not peeing or pooping on her underwear while I am helping her get dressed. Also, I like to keep it real with my kids and tell them why it is important to buckle their seat belts and keep them buckled while riding in the car.

Rose: “Don’t pee pee pee on your underwear. Don’t poo poo on your underwear. Or else I’ll fly out the window and die!”

Don’t worry, I corrected her on the last point.

On our way to mass yesterday, I heard Rosie in the back of the car saying over and over again, “Excuse me! Excuse me!”

Me: “Yes, Rosie?”

Rose: “Not you, mommy! I was talking to Daddy!”

And then she proceeded to continue repeating “excuse me” until I brought it to Scott’s attention that he needed to respond to her. Apparently Elsa’s batteries were dead and replacing batteries are exclusively in the purview of Daddy.

  
Ruth:

One morning, Ruth ran into my room to wake me up.

Ruth, excitedly: “Mom! Mom!”

Me, groggily: “What?”

Ruth: “My underwear has constructions! [she means “instructions”] It says, [in a solemn voice] be brave and always believe in yourself.”

Then, she shows me the tag with the size and cleaning instructions on the inside of her underwear.

Whenever mom comes to visit, she always jokes about taking Rhea with her when it is time to leave. (I keep waiting for her to follow through with that promise one night.) Once, when Ruth overheard her, her eyes widened in distress and she said, “Don’t take my baby sister Rhea! We’ll be so lonely without her!”

Melt. My. Heart.

Sometimes, my mom takes one of the girls on an outing to give me a break once or twice a week. When it was Ruth’s turn and Ruth discovered that Rosie would not be coming with them, she said, 

Ruth: “What about my sister, Rosie?”

Me: “She is going to stay here and learn how to go pee pee and poo poo on the potty.”

Ruth: “But who is going to keep her company?!”

Me: “I am! I’ll be here!” What am I, chopped liver?

Sometimes, it seems like Ruth and Rose fight constantly, but it is moments like these that keep it all in perspective and make all this hard work totally worth it.

Mom and Dad went on a long weekend trip to go visit my brother at law school. The girls always see my parents at mass on Sunday, and when they weren’t there, Ruthie wanted to know where they were. I told her that they were visiting Uncle John and Aunt Caitlin.

Ruth: “Ok, we can go right now and visit Uncle John and Aunt Caitlin too!”

Me: “We can’t today, baby. It’s too far away.”

Ruth: “It’s ok, Mom. Our car is fast.”

My sisters took the older two girls to see “Cinderella” at the nearby dollar theater. When the movie was over, my sister Rachel revealed to Ruth that she was Ruth’s fairy godmother. Ruth considered that for a bit, and then reached a conclusion.

Ruth: “No, Cinderella’s godmother is my godmother.”

Upgrade.

While we were staying with Mom and Dad after my C section with Rhea, Mom asked Ruthie what she would like for breakfast.

Ruth: “A sandwich.”

Mom, surprised at the interesting breakfast choice: “A sandwich?”

Ruth, exasperated: “Yes, you know: two pieces of bread with lots of food in the middle. A sandwich!”

After Ruth got to visit my sister’s posh apartment on the Westside, she has been itching for an excuse to go back there. She was particularly impressed by the halls outside of the apartments. She has taken to inviting other people to see my sister’s apartment in a transparent attempt to go back there.

Ruth: “Would you like to go to Aunt Rachel’s house? It’s very echo-y!” 

  
Aunt Rachel even has cool decor, cupcakes, and manicure sets! 

Also, the girls like to sing “Uptown Funk” as: “Up, down, f*ck you up.” At least, that is what it sounds like they are saying when they sing that song. We try to discourage them from singing it in public.

And whenever we are all gathered together for a meal, both girls get so excited. Rosie always says, “This is a great party!” And then Ruthie says, “No, it’s a feast!” And then they proceed to ruin the moment by arguing about whether it is a party or a feast.

  

  

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About sylcell

Wife, mom of four girls, Catholic, insatiable sweet tooth
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12 Responses to Weird Stuff my kids say

  1. I love Rose! The poor sad chair. 😉 I am dying envisioning them singing Uptown Funk.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I don’t know what it is about Uptown Funk, but it’s Elizabeth’s favorite song too! She can’t sing it (yet), but I’m sure she will in the relatively near future, haha.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Melissa says:

    These are always the best!

    Here’s a gem from our neck of the woods:
    What should we have for dinner?
    Katelyn, “Let’s have a goat.”
    “You mean a goat? Like a real goat?”
    “Yeah!”
    I google goat, just to be sure she knows what she’s talking about. When the pictures come up Katelyn picks one, points and says, “Yeah, that one!”
    Elizabeth tells Katelyn we cannot eat a goat and suggests chicken instead.
    Katelyn replies, “We cannot eat a chicken! The baby chicks will be sad! They will cry!”
    Then after looking at more pictures of goats Katelyn comes to a new conclusion, “We cannot eat da goats! Dey are part of NATURE!”

    Never a dull moment, or boring conversation. : )

    Liked by 1 person

    • sylcell says:

      LOL I like how you googled pictures of goats and everything. Now that is commitment. Yesterday, Rose was chasing butterflies and I told her to hold her finger out so that one could land on it, and she said, “No! It’s going to bite me!” My little warrior. Afraid of butterflies.

      Like

  4. So true about mondays! I have taught all of my boys that batteries are exclusively daddy and celebs job. Ha

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Mondays. Are. Awful!!! 😉 those girls are adorable

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Mary says:

    This is disturbing, what are they trying to say in that song? And I remember the sandwich conversation. She acted surprised that I didn’t know what a sandwich was. I felt like saying : I KNOW what a sandwich is , I just don’t usually get requests for sandwiches first thing in the morning. Sheesh! But I didn’t. Now about that song…

    Liked by 3 people

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