Is it the hormones, or am I a crazy person?

Things have been pretty quiet around here lately, as I struggle during those time periods that I am not in bed asleep (which is pretty much where I want to be at all times these days).  I don’t know if it is the iron deficiency, or my third trimester, or chasing after three littles in my third trimester, or a combination of all three, but I have been super drained. Thank God for the pretty weather!  I can just sit outside while the girls play in the sandbox.  Although we did have a week where it rained the entire week, and I thought we were going to eat each other alive. 


So, I had a night this week where I decided to just ruin my own night.  I don’t know if you guys have heard, but all of the Blue Bell ice cream products have been recalled due to a listeria contamination.  I didn’t pay much attention to it at first, because we really don’t keep ice cream in our house.  Mostly because I’ll eat it.  I’ll eat it all until I die of eating too much. Like a goldfish. However, I had just remembered that I did partake in some ice cream at my mom’s house. I asked my husband in a panic what kind of ice cream that was (because he had served it to me, like the devoted husband he is) and he assured me it wasn’t Blue Bell.  I relaxed a bit.  But then I remembered I had eaten some ice cream at my grandmother’s house as well. (Because my relatives are trying to kill me).  I couldn’t remember what kind it was, and it was way too late for a panicked call to my grandmother’s house, so I decided upon the most rational course.  I would Google all of the horrifying things that could happen if a pregnant woman contracts listeria. Google did not disappoint, my friends.  There was all sorts of bleak news about pregnancy and listeria.  Apparently, it will kill your baby, and there is not much you can do about it except take some antibiotics if you have symptoms (which can take up to two months to show up) and hope for the best.  You are not even out of the woods if you give birth to a seemingly healthy baby.  They can still be infected and die.  So I sent a panicked email to my grandmother asking her if that was Blue Bell ice cream I had eaten at her house, sobbed into my exasperated husband’s shoulder for a while, and spent the night having nightmares about listeria and convinced I had killed my child with my sweet tooth.  

The next morning, I read the email response from my grandmother.

“Sylvia. We only buy Haagen Dazs ice cream. Go back to bed.”  


Does anyone else feel like their anxiety has been kicked into high gear since having children? It’s either that or these hormones have officially turned me into a crazy person. I worry and worry about them.  It is my cross to bear.  I really need to work on having more faith and trusting in God’s providence.

36 weeks this week!  I have the pregnant waddle for sure and my legs have started to swell in this heat.  I guess I should pack our hospital bags? Nah, that will jinx it. 


About sylcell

Wife, mom of four girls, Catholic, insatiable sweet tooth
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22 Responses to Is it the hormones, or am I a crazy person?

  1. morgan says:

    Oh my, your grandmas response made cracked me up! And despite the topic, your story was overall amusing. Love that you can laugh about yourself!
    During my first pregnancy I was terrified of eating anything not properly cooked. I refused to drink any milk at my parents’ house because they get theirs directly from a dairy farm and it’s not pasteurized…
    When they handed me that SIDS brochure at the birthing clinic I was so terrified I couldn’t sleep for days! (Even worse: my first born was a “sleep like the dead”-kid who rarely moved once asleep.)
    Until today I have recurrent nightmares of one of my kids falling of the platform right the second the train arrives (it is not helpful that our village is divided by the train tracks and within 5 minutes walk we can reach two tram stops AND a train station…)
    So I totally get your “hysteria”.

    Liked by 1 person

    • sylcell says:

      Thank you! And yes, SIDS is the worst bogey man that every mother faces. You mean my child can just die in the middle of the night for no apparent reason?!! Great, I won’t worry about that at all . . . . .


  2. Siné says:

    The iron deficiency is probably a huge contributor to the fatigue. I was anemic when I was pregnant with my first, and I, not having the responsibilities of taking care of little ones, found myself sleeping 12+ hours most nights. Eat beef; it can make a huge difference in your iron levels.

    Liked by 1 person

    • sylcell says:

      Did it cause any problems with your delivery? I’m so scared about that. And, I love beef so that works out for me:)


      • Siné says:

        I didn’t have any problems with my delivery that stemmed from the iron. I did pass out from dehydration when I got up to shower though–36 hours of labor in a heatwave can do that though. There is a potential that you will have more of a deficiency after the birth though. Maybe ask to get your iron checked at your first postpartum visit.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Not crazy! When I was pregnant with Will and Trey’s GERD flared up, I would sob hysterically about how he was going to die and leave me all alone with the baby. This was a regular feature in our house. Trey LOVED it.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. christywulz says:

    I am crying laughing at this. I’m pretty sure I went through the exact same thing when I was pregnant. Why do we all turn crazy when we have kids?!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. My best friend and I talk all the time about how out of control our minds can be with our kids these days, so you are certainly not alone! Do you have a scheduled birth date for the babe yet!?

    Liked by 1 person

  6. If Brandon calls me and leaves no voice mail or sends no text. I assume everything terrible has happened! House burned down….car wreck….baby ran away…the worst.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Oh friend, you need a hug! Paranoia is real, and it is worse with children. Remember that it will be even worse when you’re super sleep deprived with a newborn and try to remember that your husband is NOT in fact on drugs…. Like I somehow conjured in my head last year. With no real facts to back it up. I also *thought* I had listeria, gestational diabetes, and preeclampsia. I did not.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Emily says:

    I enjoy reading your writings imensely. My anxious thoughts are foolish, yet today I wondered if people at my office wished for me to find a new job. I don’t believe there is much credit to this, but I count all my shortcomings and amplify them until I want to run away and find something else. Then I struggle with putting the kids to bed and question my ability as a parent. Sigh, when can I just rest in the understanding that it is all His. He gives and takes away and who am I to question what He does? Kids, they are all His too. He told me once, you seek to control what is not your to control and then you ask me to Bless you. (In regards to Birth Control) we are a fickle people are we not?

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Ashley P says:

    Sorry accidentally hit post comment. Anyways about your anxiety. I think it happens to all of us at one point or another no matter how much we pray. I was actually sobbing about this to my priest during my spiritual direction appointment the last time I went. Then I started laughing and said “and look (pointing to my belly) I keep adding to my worries” lol it is only natural to feel that way with the human weakness that we have. Could you imagine being Mary??? Carrying and caring for the Son of God? 😳 pray the Memorare as many times in a day as you can think about it.

    Liked by 1 person

    • sylcell says:

      Thank you so much! What good advice!! I will definitely start doing that. I just imagine Mary watching her precious son during his Passion and it makes my anxiety worse! How did she do that?!!! But you’re right, that just means she is the ideal Saint to appeal to. I also was doing Mother Theresa’s “Mary, Mother of God, be a mother to me now” over and over again. I think it was the only way I could finally go to sleep!


  10. Ashley P says:

    Well I don’t watch the news, I have no social media (this and two other mom blogs is all I read online) and I don’t buy ice cream. I went to my six month appointment and the nurse asked if I was freaking out like the rest of the pregnant moms. I had no clue what she was talking about lol. The news was actually interviewing my doctor while I was there. I can remember for my first pregnancy I was about six weeks and I was eating apples and peanut butter. All of a sudden I started sobbing because I thought that peanuts could harm my baby lol how clueless

    Liked by 1 person

  11. cstockel2 says:

    Your Grandmother’s email made me giggle. You are wonderful, relax!

    Liked by 1 person

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