When my husband and I got married, we were curious to find out what our family would look like. I come from a family of practically all girls and girl cousins (my mom was one of five girls!), and Scott came from a family of almost all boys. Now that we are expecting our fourth girl, I think I can confidently declare that my Perez proclivity toward girls is strong. But we do get some weird comments, and have ever since we found out we were expecting our second girl. Here are a few examples:
1) So are you going to keep trying for that boy?
Nope, we just like having babies, girl or boy. Our middle girls are by no means incidentals on our quest for a male child. We don’t live in Downton Abbey in the 19th century, fortunately enough.
2) Oh no! All of those weddings to pay for!
You never know, they might all become nuns.
3) Just wait until they are all teenagers (accompanied by a portent of doom face)
I know! They might be . . . . . . emotional.
4) You must spend so much money on little girls’ clothing!
Yes, yes I do.
5) Daddy better get a shotgun!
If we did, it wouldn’t be used to shoot potential suitors, but thank you very much. And because we are both lawyers, we definitely wouldn’t use it to commit the tort of assault, either.
6) Your poor husband! He is hopelessly outnumbered!
Well, don’t tell him that. He seems to be under the impression that he is very blessed. I would rather you not disillusion him.
7) I’ll bet you are sick to death of the color pink.
It is true that all things pink seem to take over your house once you have a baby girl. It doesn’t really bother me. There are worse colors out there.
8) To my husband, “Is your family name going to die out?”
There are lots of things my husband and I worry about. This is not one of them.
I’ve noticed a lot of these posts are entitled, “What NOT to say to parents of . . . .” and I decided not to phrase it that way because I don’t want people to feel like they are walking on eggshells when they talk to parents and anything they could say will probably offend us. I don’t think any of these questions are impertinent or intrusive. I think people are just making conversation. But they do demonstrate a lot of misconceptions about raising girls, and about raising lots of girls in particular.
Families of all or multiple girls, are there any good ones I’ve missed?
Tales from the Mommy Trenches 
You nailed it. As parents of four girls, we heard ALL of these! We went on to have a fifth child…a boy. You can imagine what people say about that!
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We’re expecting our fifth now!! If it is a boy, our whole world is going to change, LOL.
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I have two of each and the comments I get about my “perfect” family annoy me! If my kids were all boys or all girls, my family would still be perfect! When I was pregnant with my third, the comments and attitudes were especially bad (http://supermommyornot.blogspot.com/2012/06/youre-having-how-many-kids.html) because I already had one of each-what was I thinking ruining my perfect family by having another one?!?
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I totally agree! It creeps me out too when I hear about people saying that (no stranger has ever told me we have the perfect family because all girls = failure). Kind of has a jarring eugenics ring to it.
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I have 4 girls and people are constantly making idiotic comments. Once, my mailman even told me the proper way to conceive a boy in his country. Thanks. I think the most annoying comments are when people are convinced that my husband must want a boy. Sure, it would be fun to have a boy, but it is also really fun to have girls. And we have a lot of things figured out. Why mess with a good thing. Last week, a lady at ballet kept pestering me about if I was going to have another baby. I usually tell people I have a baby now, and look at my 16 month old, but this lady kept pressing. Don’t I want a boy. I said, nah, I like girls. But what about your husband, doesn’t he want a boy. He likes our girls too. But then she insisted that every dad wants a boy. I finally had to rudely tell her that my husband actually loves girls and our girls. My girls were right there, hearing some lady spout on and on about how my husband surely wanted a boy and not another girl. How did she think that would make them feel? I think my new response is going to be “yes, the next time I have unprotected sex, I’m hoping to conceive another girl. “. They’ll love that, right?
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Yes, in fact, we only have protected sex in that we are not protected from having babies, but from having MALE babies! ;p But seriously, why do people say such thoughtless things in front of innocent children? Breaks my heart and makes me furious. They are not furniture, they are human beings who are taking to heart everything you’re saying!
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With three boys we always hear, “You’ve got your own basketball team!”
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I guess I have a semi perfect family in terms of gender?? At least I am told I am. I have 2 of each (b, b, g, g) I remember when I was pregnant with my second I got ‘Oh I bet you are hoping for a girl!’ When I was pregnant with my third the ‘hoping for a girl’ comments were absurd! And when we found out it was indeed a girl I was insulted by the number of people who made comments like ‘Oh finally! A little girl! your family is complete now!’ (I thought that was our choice?) and then when I was pregnant with number four everyone assumed I was hoping for a second girl.
I have 4 younger brothers. I don’t think I missed out on anything by not having a sister. I have 4 amazing siblings!
People can be insensitive and absurd!
(On that note, I do know someone who had 7 boys and then a girl and openly said she was going to keep going until she had a girl)
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Yeah, I have heard from a lot of moms that a girl would be nice if they have a lot of boys just so they can have someone to relate to. That makes sense. My husband would love to have a boy, I’m sure. But the comments from strangers or outsiders to your little family presuming they know about how you feel about having girls or boys or (even worse) how many children you plan on having is absurd to me.
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We just had our third girl and we have one boy. While I was pregnant, people would ask what we were having and when I told them a girl, most would say, “oh man, it would have been perfect if it was a boy.” That made me so sad.
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As they say in The Last Samurai, “They are ALL perfect” (girl or boy) But I know I’m preaching to the choir here;)
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We have three girls and one boy. (G,G,B,G). When we found out number 3 was a boy we always got “Your husband must be so happy to finally have a boy”. He hated this comment as he was perfectly happy to have another girl and actually having a boy took some adjusting too, although fun and special it was unknown to us. Now we get comments about how sorry they are for the only boy. Also when I tell people I have four they ask if I at least have an even split, not sure why that matters?
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Gosh, all these comments are making me chuckle. An even split?! I never knew how weird people were! Why would that matter?! My brother has three sisters too. Everyone always feels sorry for him too, and he is always very confused by that. And I was kind of scared this fourth one would be a boy because after three girls, it would be serious uncharted territory for me, haha. Like having your first baby.
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This is so great! We have a two year old boy and when we found out we were having a girl everyone’s question was the same… “So that’s it? You’re done right? Yall have both now!” And my response was always no we’re not done we will have as many as God wants to bless us with. And then they don’t know how to respond. OR they respond with wow glad it’s you and not me 🙂 and now we are having our third and plan on keeping the gender a surprise until birth!
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Congrats on your third! Oh my gosh that is so cool you guys have so much patience. I just couldn’t wait to find out! But I love it when other people do because it makes their births so suspenseful! And yes, I have never understood the whole 1 girl, 1 boy is the perfect family rule. Firstly, the world would be a sad place indeed if no boys had brothers and no girls had sisters. Secondly, every child is just as wonderful as the last, why wouldn’t you want a quiver full of arrows!!
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We have a boy and a girl and constantly get the “You’re done RIGHT?!” Drives us nuts! We tell them that its not up to us, its up to God. I even had one rude person tell us that “Two will do” when we said we hoped for more kids! Some people…
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I am forever befuddled by that attitude. Do kids somehow diminish in marvelousness after this arbitrary number of 2?! We both know the answer is no, but it seems to be a well kept secret.
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Lol, we just had our 4th daughter (all under 5, too!), and I was laughing so hard to see that you get all the same comments that I get, and you have the same responses as well. Just fantastic! Good luck 🙂
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Thanks! And congrats on your fourth girl!! People are so unoriginal;)
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It seems people just can’t mind their own business no matter what your family, or lack of family, looks like.
We had a boy, then a girl and we were bombarded with the “You have a million dollar family! One of each, why would you bother to have any more?” We now have one boy and two girls, I’d love to hear the comments if/when we have a 4th! Big families always get the best comments!
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I know! They act like you’re playing the lottery. The secret is, you win the jackpot with every child, boy or girl!
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Aw, I love that line! Totally going to use that next time.
So far I just say, “But if we were to have a girl, we would have to give her a sister!” I have to admit, I do fear having a girl (after 4 boys) and then having secondary infertility and “they” would all say, “Ah-ha! She did just want that girl.” #crazyhormonalfears
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I keep saying I wouldn’t even know what to do with a boy at this point! And yeah, you can’t let them win and stop once you get one of the other gender;p
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As a mother of two girls who are pretty well behaved in public on most days, thank God for that , I get this a lot – oh, girls are so much easier. You should’ve had a boy!!
I agree boys are more energetic and active, but bringing up every child takes effort, takes the same amount of love and caring, patience and understanding, boy or girl.
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So many people feel the need to compare difficulties! So weird. How about we’re all in this difficult but wonderful thing called motherhood together?
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Number 3 seems to be common when you have three or more kids, regardless of gender. I think a lot of people assume you can’t want many children without being blissfully unaware of all the mess, trouble and stroppiness of teenagers.
Things my Dad was told a lot when he mentioned his 5 daughters:
-You poor man, you mustn’t have a penny/centimo left.
-Hedging your bets? One of them is bound to care for you.
-You must have high estrogen.
He usually took it in his stride, but it was odd how often people would suggest that we must be obscenely expensive to keep or that his hormones were messed up because he had a bias towards girls.
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I am seriously laughing so hard at the estrogen comment. Some people are so ridiculous! And the thing about children is, you have complete control over whether you spend too much money on them, girl or boy;)
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We found out today we’re expecting our second daughter & we’ve already gotten some of these lovely questions & comments! 😉 I know that sometimes I say the wrong thing in an attempt to make small talk & conversation but I try not to say the cliche gender stereotypical questions or anything that might be offensive.
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Congrats! Sweet sisters! That is so exciting. Yeah, I realize weird comments are usually said with no ill intent, but I would be lying if I didn’t say the negative comments irritate me a bit. I’ll cut a lot of people some slack, though, because four girls isn’t all that common, I suppose.
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Bahaha! These are hilarious. We haven’t had our girls around long enough to get these comments, but looking forward to using your responses.
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