There seems to be a general attitude that your average stay at home mom does not have very much to do during the day. She is a lazy creature, slovenly in appearance, who lives in a messy home and lets her children run amok. She spends most of her time whining about how tired and unappreciated she is. Little does she care that she was the author of her own undoing by having all of these children in the first place! Doesn’t she know that without children she could be dining with her friends, gossiping about men and wearing Louboutins? But I digress.
We who are in the trenches of stay at home mom-dom fight this stereotype ad nauseam. It doesn’t matter if it is true! It is the principle of the thing. Here is how I see it. In every other occupation, there is a delegation of the work that needs to be done. You have a certain set of responsibilities, and anything you are unable to do due to time constraints or lack of expertise is done by someone else. This way, there is an assurance that everything that needs to be accomplished is done. Why aren’t stay at home moms offered that same courtesy?
In other words, once we have children, our primary goal is to care for them and raise them. But there is also a lot of work that needs to go into maintaining the home. Even more so with small children because they can wreak havoc on a house! However, we are customarily denied the same efficient delegation of the work that occurs in every other work place (including day cares!) If we hire a house cleaning service, or a cook, or even a nanny, then we are automatically classified as a lazy, wasteful slacker who couldn’t fulfill her extremely simple duties. Because anyone who has small children at home knows how relaxing and carefree our days are, right? I mean, if we had someone cleaning our house for us, we just wouldn’t know what to do with ourselves! I had a (childless) couple once marvel at a woman they knew who had a cook and a nanny for her four children. They shook their heads at her and wondered what the heck she did all day. Um, I don’t know, take a shower?!! Go to the bathroom?! Run an errand that doesn’t involve a drive through?! Go to the dentist?!! The list is endless, people.
It seems to me that many stay at home moms have just resigned themselves to living in a depressing disaster area that used to be their home because if they hire outside help, everyone will consider them to be a failure. And yes, I know that some simply can’t afford it. This obviously doesn’t apply to them. I just can’t understand why delegation is so vilified when it comes to domestic duties. Stay at home moms need help in completing all of our daily tasks just like anyone else.
And if stay at home mom duty involved such minimal effort, then why the heck do daycares cost a small fortune?! (Seriously though, why do they cost so much? What is this, baby Harvard? Will she be fluent in six languages after this?)